And the winner is:

So happy!

I am at a loss for words, one of the few times ever in my life. When I signed up for Dare to Lose of course I thought about winning, I am a naturally competitive person, but in the last two months of the competition I didn't think I had a chance of first place. It seriously wasn't on my radar, I had become more focused on completing my goals of moving beyond my plateau and running my fastest BolderBoulder. I did both!  My trainer Ethan had told me that I was was in second. He said it was close. I assumed he meant between me and third. I guess I was wrong. I don't think I have ever been more surprised in my life. When they called second place and I didn't hear my name I was so confused. I even said "wait, what?" Less then one percent separated me from second place. I was so shocked and as I stood to receive first place and all the amazing gifts I was shaking. I felt...undeserving.
It has been a week since the finale, and I am still at a loss for words. I have been trying to adjust to being off the program, interviewing for a new summer job, and trying to figure out the undeserving feelings. I don't know if I have figured it all out, but this is what I do know.
Being done with Dare to Lose is an adjustment. I miss the support and the external motivation. I needed a week away from logging food, to eat and drink what I wanted to realize that logging food is something that I choose to do. Making healthy choices becomes easier now that I know eating healthy whole foods makes me feel better. I am so happy to have a year premier membership to Miramont Lifestyle Fitness. I have also decided to keep taking Ethan's small group training class. It will give me the support and motivation I need to help with accountability and I will have three workouts a week that I don't have to do anything other than show up and sweat.
I have an amazing opportunity to work on a beautiful ranch just outside of Saratoga, WY this summer on the weekends. This past weekend was the first opportunity I had to travel there and check things out. It is breathtaking, but it will be an adjustment. I know that this will also cause an extra stress and disruption to my training and diet. It is part of life, and I know that I have been given tools to be able to be successful in the face of stress. I just need to remember to use those tools.
I have been really trying to get to the root of my feelings. Why did I feel undeserving? During the competition I only missed one work out. I logged my food everyday. I put in the work and I reaped the rewards. I know that I did what I needed to do, for myself. My goal when I started this program was to move off the plateau that I had been stuck on for over a year. I completed that goal! I am so proud. I think that I felt less deserving because I was comparing myself to my fellow competitors, and that was unfair. My journey was very different from theirs. I began regaining my health and fitness (and losing weight) four years ago, where as this competition served as a springboard for many of my fellow competitors. The greatest lesson I have learned from my yoga practice is not to compare myself to those around me, but instead to honor my personal journey. Keeping that in mind I can fully appreciate the work that I did, and feel honored and proud of my accomplishments. I am the winner of Dare to Lose!
I have been having a hard time compiling this post. I think partly because of all that I have expressed here, but also because it seems unfair to make a final summary. I will never be done, fitness has become a huge focus and will be for the rest of my life. I am reaching for bigger goals. I have started my half marathon training, and then will begin training for my marathon.
I would like to say thank you to everyone at Miramont Lifestyle Fitness, Town Square Media, O'hana Salon, and BeSpoke men's fashion. I am truly grateful for this experience. It has helped me get closer to my end goal, and I know that soon I will be in maintenance mode.